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Sunday, 24 July 2005
I almost forgot your face... till they played that song tonight
Mood:
 blue
Now Playing: All american rejects; Lost in you
Topic: WhirlwindThoughts
the one we used to HATE
Gah i feel sad at the moment.. just listened to greenday int he car and i was thinking about adrian... dammit i shouldn't do this beause everytime i think of hiom stuff starts plaguing my mind and i got home, went upstairs and started crying... :( i couldn't help it...
i was also listening to Paper Heart and some lyrics like:
Simple things that make you run away
[reminded me of ad leaving coz he couldn't take a joke; and henry leaving coz i got upset over silly things]
Catch you if i can
[reminded me of chasing after mike... and n0ow henry by joining his site]
Bottle up old love, throw it out to sea, wash it away as you cry
[I've cried enoguh tears to wash anything away ^_^;... also reminded me of distance]
a year has passed, the seasons grow
[A year HAS passed since me and henry broke up]
winter nights my bedside is cold, for i have gone, spring blossoms you to me
[Henry was mean to be visiting me at xmas... me and ad broke up at xmas.. dumped mike at xmass... got back with henry for spring.... same with ad]
*sigh* v_v i can't block anythig out of mind right now.. passed tori's house before and i wanted to go torch it >_< i would too... but not sure which wone exactly it is... so have to burn the whole block...
and that reminds me of her and ad arraneging to sleep together and the fact they probaably alreday have and then the other thing about me wanting to burn down the church ast his wedding which reminded me of him gettign married which reminds me of the reason we broke up which reminds me of him cheating on me which reminds me of kati which reminds me of the note she wrote to me appologising but i couldn't forgive her and which remidns me of havingt os ee her everyday and her being smarmy and oastign about it which reminds me of her and tori talking about me and him behind my back and laughing just before kati puleld him and ori went to sleepw ith him which reminds me of henry for some reason cheating on me with that person.... uhh... jamie thats it which reminds me of zd and all the bad things i've done... shane's right i am evil and i deserve everything i get which makes me wonder whats goood about myself really? why do i even bother living in this world?! wouldn't i nbe better off dead... which makes me deprssed which makes me slit... v_v
hacven't yet because goigng gym tomorrow but after that.... *sigh* i dunno...
but the weird thing is... when he ringsme all that stuff goes out of my head
but if i think of loving him so much i'd sleep with him then it all comes back and my minds screaming "NOOOOOOO!"and i can't block that out ;_;
plus theres mike to sorry about too.
ghost left me this messages on yahoo
duckmandrake2000 (24/07/2005 01:34:29): sorry I haven't been on latly, but I've really been busy latly, but I should be on alot more in about a week or so
duckmandrake2000 (24/07/2005 01:34:46): missing you, Scott
i think he might fancy me >.<
well went to BBQ on friday... bit borin... jade insulted us all,.. becks left us..watched Big Bro that was about it... *yawn*
want a greenday cd[for some reason] and another all american rejects and sugarcult and the used. but bleh...
got a corset ?3 yesterday yey!
been walking today and had mcdonalds...yey...
GAH!
gran just been on phone for 8minutes!
and i got about 5 words in thats all!
I WANNA SCREAM AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
anyway today also been in lyme hall... found out grandad's great grandad was lord stamford who owned dunham hall but he was gay and had no kids so when he died his sister got it in london, she didn't have enough money and gave it to the national trust to look after it.
Also found out lady Jane grey [who was queen for 6 days before queen elizabeth took over and beheaded her] was also my relation because she was a relation of the stamfords.
anyway random time:
Tori will have your babies
Obviously likes black
Rapes guys for fun
Is mentally unstable
Acts like a 5 yr old
N eurotic
A>/strong>ttempts suicide
_&
N othing you can say will ever change her.
bought new stuff on gaia ^_6 but so's everyone else dammit so after web set now
it'll take me 5 years to get an omg hat.. i worked it out if i post everyday and got about 300-500 gold per day
half a year to get Nightmareheadband
and 3/4 year-year to get NitemareScarf
great >_<
might have to quest and hope people will donate but they hardly ever do v_V
better get polling then...
urgh feel so deprssed... i bet adrain doens't buy me anything from Germany >_>
.:*:.~Taeno~.:*:.
Posted by angelondeathrow
at 6:58 PM BST
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