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Wednesday, 20 July 2005
.:*:.~Would anything matter if you're already dead~.:*:.
Mood:
 don't ask
Now Playing: Disturbed; Remember
Topic: WhirlwindThoughts
Well this is my first actually online journal... ok i lied i DO have a journal on gaia online and i DO..well DID have one on quiet a few forums but none like this.
Anyway update of life then.
I'm OBSESSED with this my chemical romance song which a lyric of it is in my title; i love it half was through. (btw it's early sunest over monroeville)
But does anyone notice?
But does anyone care?
And if I had the guts to put this to your head...
But does anything matter if you're already dead?
And should I be shocked now by the last thing you said?
Before I pull this trigger,
Your eyes vacant and stained...
And in saying you loved me,
Made things harder at best,
And these words changing nothing
As your body remains,
And there's no room in this hell,
There's no room in the next,
But does anyone notice there's a corpse in this bed?
Love it... ^_^;
ok yes update not ramble (but i do ramble soz)
Well I'm going out with adrian (have been for over 3 weeks i think now)but my friends don't know i am (all except alice) because they'll be pissed off, i know they will. Becky was being nosy today like teh other day. I said i'd been to the cinema and she said "who with" but i just said it wasn't her buisness. She suspects something i know it coz today she said "Who you textin'" and i ignored her. She wants to know... nosy lil... heh :P
but yeah if they found out well... i dunno how they'll recat but it WON'T be good...
but this means i can't talkt o anyone about it.. except alice but then again don't like talkin to people about relationships lol.
Anyway.. keep saying that damn... ialso keep saying" awe bless" which is pissing me off >_<
adrian's gone to germany today :( i told himt o text me when he got there but he hasn't.. i hope he's ok :( mighta got wrong phone.
I feel really distant from people recently...
Well on monday ifelt like a guy but i was in my "omgawd i wanna dress like adrian "mood so i wore a dragon t-shirt thatwas too big and my hoodie and my baggy ripped jeans lolz. tenj said i looked like a chav when i had my hood up gurrrrr *pouts*
but yeah oday i wore my corset top and stuff and i felt i looked ok but... i dunno just jade and everyone seem distant from me and becky said to me today that i wasn't sleepin round at her house which was a bit of a... "oh... uhh why?" coz what have i done wrong? hmm... no-body loves me *sob* v_v
had interform the other day GODDAMMIT i hate sports! and i was umpire and rachel shaw so pissed me off! She's meant to be my friend to and i was against her form but me and the other umpire are friends so we were talking and watching the game and it wasrachel's turn so i was like "Oh god o" coz i know how competetive rachel can be. There was a ball throw but she started screaming it was a no ball so we said it was too... then it was thrown again and she swung her bat but missed it and ran all the way round... meant she got half.
Oh no she didn't like that and stormed over saying" i hit the ball behind and got all the way round! i get a whole roudn not half".
If she fucking hi the ball behind she shoudl stop at first which meant she was fucking otu BITCH DON'T U KNOW THE FUCKING RULES AND DON'T ARGUE WITH ME COZ I DO KNOW THEM!
and she said "i've had much better umpires than you" to both of us and started talking about oter umpires. I just said "I don't really care. It's umpired judgement and we say that you didn't hit it but got half a rounder now deal with it and carry on." and she just said "well ok...but you're not very good umpires"
OOO i wanted to hit her so much! she got me dso mad! I went home, went into the bathroom, started settign stuff on fire, slit my wrist, stained my blood on a tissue with her name written on it backwards and soaked it in blood then set it aight and cursed her... I HOPE SHE FUCKING DIES!
anyway i am a bit stressed i admit >_> my mum's not welll.. she keeps throwing up, ebing sick etc and it said that she's got... 1 in 19 could be cancerous... >_>
also forgot to mention that i was being negative yesterday to to mike and he seemed upset and i feel bad about it... >_> damn.. i wish i had money to go see him >_<
what else...
found out jade tossed off a guy in the park once...
and that charlie had sex when going out with this guy for one day lmao.
i don't wanna have sex... well sometimes i do and sometimes i don't... i'll have to see but i don't really wanna have sex with adrian or mike right at the moment... i don't even know if i feel that strongly about mike anymore he's hardly online. theres no chance we can see each other anytime soon and i get more affection off adrian tan him and thats saying something as adrian;s constantly taking the piss otu of me and kicking me!!! -.-
i want a gothic guy.... v_V bleh
anyway going becky's on firday still for the BBQ but not stauin as she doens't want me to *grumble* gonna get VHF tomorrow and get a lil drunk.. might take some to the party with me hehehehe get pissed XD
school was borin today really.. always is.. one more day yey! sports assembly tomorrow NOO! :(
i don't even knoww hat lessons i have...
man i'm so tired... i wanna go sleep *yawn* meh...my head always hurts... always feel tired gur
and i should ring my half brother dan coz dad said so but i thin it's a ploy to get me to talk to gran who WNATED ME ABORTED BITCH I'M NEVER GONNA TALK TO HER UNLESS IT'S FACE TO FACE AND I'LL SLAP HER SILLY! XD
anyway gonna go.. chow!
~.:*:.~Taeno~.:*:.~
Posted by angelondeathrow
at 7:22 PM BST
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