Sunday, 31 July 2005

my shadows the only one who walks besides me.
Mood:  down
Now Playing: Green day: when september ends <3
Topic: WhirlwindThoughts
Latest messages from ghost >_>

duckmandrake2000 (31/07/2005 00:34:15): so how are you doing today?
duckmandrake2000 (31/07/2005 00:35:05): I know you won't get this untill sunday, but I hope you're doing well and I hope that you and mike are able to work things out

psh...

look what some weird random dude sent me O-o
fred_420692003 (30/07/2005 05:17:02): roses are red,nuts are brown,skirts are up,pants are down,body 2 body,skin 2 skin, when its stiff,stick it in,send to 10 people and see if you get it back that means someone wants to freak you

ok my life:
well wednesday was like.. woah (put read other journal to know what happened pervs XD) and i was happy
told shane coz i knew he's keepa secret
but then mike came online and was saying he was going to buy me a diamond ring and i found out he wanted to propose to me O_O;;;;;;;
so i told sent and he asked why that was a bad thing and i told him about wednesday and told him not to tell anyone
he only goes and tellsmike doesn't he
that bastard!!!! i wanna fucking kill him! >_<
so mike was all mad at me and i got scared and was crying then he admitted he did the same anyway so yeah

anyway
yesterday was the shitest most unlucky day of my life y_y

here what happened:
Went to manchester to see adrian... well actually i was going to go to manchester, buy my bag, try dress on, pick prawncrackers up for mum then get on bury met, go to bury, get a bus to rawtenstall and then voila go to his house where we could... cuddle heh ;)

but got on met and found out the bury mets weren't working because there'd been an incident between victoria and whitefield or somehting people were syaing it was a fire so no mets were running to bur and there were delays etc.
so that got my upset coz i did't know how to get to him and i didn't wanna be in town alone.
so got to manchester andwent to chinese shop but my shoes began to hurt me.. they're pretty high ones but the killed like fuck i could hardly swalk let alone run to get to afflecks other at the other side afterwards.
anyway yeah went into chinese shop and there was a huge que and the woman infront was stallin wihich tickedme off.
So bought prawn crackers and ran to afflecks.. well stumbled as fast as i could... these guys were giving me evil looks an talking aout me when i went past... alot of people were which upset me too
got into afflecks... out of breath and went to bats to get my bag
wasn't there... the guysaid they won't be getting it in until haloween and thats only if i'm lucky and they do them then.
So that put me down so i went upstairs to get my dress.
that wasn't their either.... only one that was #75 not even boned and crap/cheap lookin.
so ad rang me and i was alreday almost in tears by then and i was hot and sweaty from trying to run and i was in pain so i got out of afflecks and went through the gardens then he had to direct me to the bus stop as the mets still weren't working and the lights changed on me so i couldn't cross so i walkesd out in front of a car and i needed a drinktoo dammit
got across road and to bus stop just intime as it was gona go soon and got on the bus (had to pay #2.30 )
so was on bus, alreday almost in tears and too hot. too jacket off and bus set off... no idea where i am or anything but time to cool down.
adrian tells me to get off near roundabout but i decide i don't want to because i'm scared i'll get off at wrong stop so he goes to saotp to wait for me.
anyway shoes were really rubbing my feet by now...
and it started raining and some dipstick had opened the window nearby so i was getting rained on and i couldn't shut it or get up to because i was scared of falling oer and i couldn't recah where i was sitting.
So went on motorway and got to stop and it was pouring it down in rawtenstall when i got off met.
ad didn't even hug me or kiss me when i got off met but i was a bit grumpy when i got off and complainign bout my feet.
so walked to asda, met his dad, posted mail, got his sis some chocolate and went to his old flat
then went to his mum's
after having to walk up a huge hill which hurt my feet
(but he did buy me a drink from asda yey)
got to his mum's house, met his sis, saw pic of him when he was little awweee bless ^.^ he has a huge dog which ws scaring me so they locked it in the other room
the floors was coevered in dog hairs so i got covered in them.
anyway so sat on sofa and the guy who was supoost to be moving ad's bed to his new house was meant to arrive at 12:00
he didn't arrive until gonee 2:00 almost 3:00
>_>
so i was sat on sofa, i didn't know what to say with ad bullying me slightly and his sister was there so we couldn't pull or do anything which was frustrating.
i was starvin too so got some sausage rolls from asda
my feet were seriosuly killin me
anyway before the guy came for the bed i was upset because so many things were going wrong so i went upstairs to 'go loo'
i got up there and burst out crying >_>
<_<
then heard him talking about me with his sister downstairs saying he bet i was putting my makeup on
but afte i'd cried i dideed to redo it so eah...

the guy arrived, put bed in van and we got in van, his sister was walkin to his flat to help load that stuff in when the van went back there after dropping thebed off at his house. (confusin huh?)
anyway i was in van with ad and trying to snuggle him but he was unresponsive v_v and then the van went over a bump and the exaust fell off!! i started crying and ad didn't even realise he just said "you right?" i just nodded, even though tears were falling down my face but my face was half covered by my hair and then he told me to smile so i faked one.
got to his house and i stayed there whilst he went to get his stuff from the flat so iw as all alone in the house.
(the sofa smelt of pee O.o)
anyway the minute heleft i ran upstairs and burst out crying in the corner between his bedroom and the bathroom and....
took the razor out from my sock (i sallotaped it to my leg for protection)and hurt myself to stop myself from crying...
i was gonna draw a love herat in bloood on his mirror
and was considering just killing myself and writing sorry on the wall in blood but didn't
anyway redid makeup AGAIN and then came back like half an hour later
(and i only had 15 mins before i had to go home)
got all stuff in and i nearly started crying again so i ran upstairss
came down when stuff was in
his sis went upstairs to lok around.. he hugged me and tried to kiss me but i wouldn't kiss him just held him and nestled my head on his shoulder and he said he was sorry about today and stuff and i almost cried AGAIN but said it was ok
then his sis came down and i had to go
but wewere out of rawtenstall now so had to get bus
so waiting for bus, almost cried again as ad began to say to his sister about making the bed and stuff and looking at me and she said "what dou need a bed for" so he was clearly giving away what happened on wednesday [even though we didn't even use a bed then but anyway] which upset me then i saw the icecream van but only the top of it which was white and brown like the buses so i said "is that the bus" then stopped as i realised it wasn't but he started making fun of me.. he knows i;m short sighted *sob* so the bus came almost had to pay full fare but luckily ad stepped in said i wasn't from the area so i won't have a pass and i got away with paying less
but then we were on bus he was saying about ressing smart to go somewhere and his sister said "yeah going out on the pull are ya "which really upset me coz that means he's cheatin on me so i almost started crying again
anyway got off bus his sis FINALLY left us... went to stop and waited
waited
waited
his sis rang
te bus hadn';t come for the pasthour
>_>
they never run late
that was too much i started crying again infront of him so he hugged me and said "It'llbe right shh calm down" but yesterday was so shit... we didn't even make out! v_v
bus finally came so got on it... started cyring again on bus
got off in manchester and had to run to met
feet are all blistered and split today
and he told me to ring him on met
had onephone off and wouldn't answer the other one
and today he rang me but went off it quick
never says "i love u" anymore v_v y_y ;_;
plus i felt sikc yesterday
the had to make up shit to muma nd nan about being out with my friends and stuff v_v
i was crying alllast night i'm so tired ;_;

sent hates me too i know he does... blocked me on msn and yahooo *sigh*

so unhappy v.v

~Taeno~

Posted by angelondeathrow at 5:47 PM BST

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